A diet for fat cats

Written by Rebecca O'Connor on 23rd February 2016

He didn’t look like that at first, your cat.

At first, he was sweet and playful, jumping around the living room, bringing mice home for you from time to time. So charming.

Not long after he settled in, he started to realise the control he had over you and what he could do with it.

He worked out that when he curled up on your lap and and rubbed his chin into your hand, you gave him more treats.

The more love he gave you, the more treats you gave him.

He started to get a little pudgy. He didn’t want to go out as much. You tried to get him to catch the jingly ball and he just looked at you, his eyes glinting, for the first time, with something a little like disdain.

The fatter he got, the more treats he wanted. You kept giving them to him, even though you knew it was wrong and it was making him fatter, because he was such a good and loving cat, always giving you more of what you wanted: cuddles, purrs, chin rubs.

Eventually, the cuddles, purrs and chin rubs stopped, because he got so fat he couldn’t be bothered. But if you didn’t keep giving him the treats, he would wreck your curtains or dig his nails into the back of your hand. So you kept giving them to him, even though you hated yourself and him for it, and he got fatter and meaner, meaner and fatter. Until eventually, you had to take him to the vets.

“Stop feeding him so much”, they said. “I can’t” you said, because deep down, you were a bit worried he would actually kill you in the night if you did. Besides, he was your cat. Yours. You had a loyal relationship, even when things got a bit psycho. Sure, you’d thought about trading him in for another, nicer cat. But aren’t all cats the same? You might as well stick with this one – at least he’s predictable.

The cat is your bank. The treats are your money. The cuddles, purrs and chin rubs are your credit cards, loans and mortgages.

Stop feeding your mean, greedy, fat cat today! Put him on the good cat diet.

There are some new-breed ‘skinny’ cats around, and it’s worth checking them out. The challenger banks: Atom, Mondo, Secco, and Tandem – although most of these are not yet open for business, they have big plans to shake things up.

Luckily there are also some relatively old cats on the block who are not so fat, either. These might include the so-called ethical or values-based banks such as Charity Bank, Ecology and Triodos, and the older wave of challengers, such as Handelsbanken, Metro Bank, and Virgin Money.

The Global Alliance for Banking on Values, of which Triodos was a founder and Ecology is a member,  #bankingonvalues is a global network of 28 values-based banks, campaigning under #bankingonvalues.

Both Charity Bank and Triodos are also European BCorps, so you know they are not just there to feed from their customers.

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